Overshare &
Make People Smile.

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Aloha! I’m Arianne Tong. I’m a stand up comedian, writer, and creative magician based in Toronto.

 

Oh my gosh, where have you been my whole life? Seriously. Where? What the f*ck. I’ve been waiting for like 30 years, this is unacceptable. You think just because you have a killer smile and sparkling personality that you can just keep people waiting? Anyways, let’s move on, babe. What did you miss?

Well, let’s see…childhood was an interesting series of humiliations which has made this whole comedy thing happen. Your girl is a stubborn optimist, casually strolling through emotional battlefields with a bubble machine, battery-operated string lights, and a negroni.

I was deep undercover for 25 years, posing as a straight woman, then finally cracked what I am calling ‘the case of the closeted queer’ (the call was coming from inside the house the whole time - a classic, albeit clichéd, plot twist).

I did the standard university thing (nailed it) while dreaming of screenwriting and performing on the side, then briefly (not so briefly, but briefly in the context of my entire 86 year lifespan according to a very convincing spiritual guide, Marilyn) did the standard corporate thing (also nailed it) where your girl learned to do ‘the business’. Just for context, ‘the business’ includes saying words like ‘engagement’, ‘from a brand perspective…’, and ‘does this slide make my deck look too big?’ After dealing with Susan, Carol and sometimes Linda’s sh*t for longer than any self-respecting human should have to endure, the dream is back in full swing.

And so here we are, staring into each others eyes like a couple of long lost loves. Or, at the very least, a couple of canines that just spotted each other in the distance - intrigued and tails wagging (I hope that’s a tail).

 
 
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“If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far (don’t worry, baby). - Marvin Gaye”

- Arianne Tong

 
 

My love, my passion, my purpose is first and foremost to make people smile. To feel actual joy is something we forget in work, and we forget our work can be anything we want it to be. My mission is to make people smile in whatever it is that I’m doing at the moment - whether that’s through oversharing my experiences through comedy, connecting creative people I love, or creating unforgettable experiences that energize and inspire people of all kinds and minds.

 

Much love,

A.

SUPPORT THE DREAM


 
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GIRL GANG CABARETS

Arianne hosts and co-produces the Girl Gang Cabarets which takes place at The Painted Lady, Society of Beer Drinking Ladies, and The Gladstone Hotel. This variety show features female, queer and non-binary performances of all disciplines (art, music, comedy, dance, anything else amazing) that are hella rad in Toronto.

She was asked to host the event on an ongoing basis after performing as a guest stand-up comedian on the show in April 2019.

Here are upcoming shows:

  • July 25, 2019 @ The Gladstone Hotel

  • October 21, 2019 @ The Painted Lady

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TINDER TALES

Arianne will tell a story about how she swiped right into a 9 month long-distance love at The Gladstone Hotel on July 23, 2019.

100% will likely regret.

100% chance of comedy.

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SKETCHY STAND UP

Maybe catch her working on some sketchy jokes around town in sometimes sketchy locations. Keep your expectations low and enjoy the show why don’t you? Don’t heckle me or I’ll heckle right back. Been practicing in the shower so you know I mean business, buddy.

Upcoming show alert! She will be performing in the Quarter Finals of Comedy Brawl in August TBD. Details to come…

Mondays: The Ossington @ 10PM
Wednesdays: The Wenona @ 8PM, Sarah’s @ 9PM, SOCAP @ 11PM
Fridays: Laughter Luau @ 9PM

 
 
 


Question everything trivia night // hosted by the ari’s

Not your average trivia night! Quiz your knowledge in Television, Movies, Music and World trivia - plus, skill testing activities to flex your competitive edge (*using all your senses*)! Intrigued? Good! Bring a few pals (and if you don't have any, come along and we'll pair you up!) Compete to win drinks and bragging rights!

Hosted by Arianne Tong and Ari Xenarios, Question Everything Trivia Night at Sidestreet Bar is the best damn way to spend a Wednesday evening!

Next show is July 10, 2019!
Tickets Here.
ONLINE: $5
DOOR:$7

 
 

Taking Gigs?
Yes!

What Kinds?
Whatever you want, baby.

Seriously though…
Screenwriting,
TV & Film Production,
Copywriting, Consulting,
General Hype.

How Much?
Slow your roll, champ. Send me the details, and I’ll quote you.

For all INQUIRIES contact:
Arianne.tong@gmail.com

Phone *
Phone